Who will ease our pain? - Page 8 - Alphaville Forum

Agnes · 29 Jul 2003, 21:02

No, my dear Clare, I won't forget myself, I am the one who has to complete all these things I mentioned above.

Just because I must find a meaning for my life... And you all are very very important to me. (This is one of my reasons why I must survive these days...)

Agnes · 31 Jul 2003, 17:29

Today we buried him...

And of course it didn't work out without figthings... And of course the topic was religion - again. The reason? I appeared in saree (the traditional custom of Hindu women) and my brother-in-law stared at me and just sat on me saying "How do you dare to come to the cemetary in such a dress??..." Words came after words, I really don't want to go into details, but we had a big and very disgusting fight.

[censored] And when I got to my mother-in-law asking her to allay him, she said "Oh, oh... you can't imagine what the village say if they see you wearing such a dress... and you can't imagine what my colleagues say if they see you wearing such a dress... but oh, I have already resigned myself to everything..." I just couldn't believe my ears... [nonono] But thank God they didn't continue it in the cemetary... The ceremony went well, there was no mistake... The ceremony itself wasn't a religious one (due to his will, as he was atheist), there had been some speeches by a registrar and by his boss - then I read the poem "Adonais" by Percy Bysshe Shelley (it was his will, too).

Momentary I feel goddamn tired, but somehow relieved as well. I didn't cry at the funeral (just at the end a little bit) - somehow I heard his voice echoing in my ears for the whole time: "You do it well, girl... don't care about what they say." And if he says so - then it is true.

May his body rest in peace - may his sould find the way to the Godhead.

Kaz · 31 Jul 2003, 18:04

Dearest Agnes

I've been thinking of you and the kids all day today and I'm so proud of you for standing up for your beliefs. It sounds like he had a good send-off, despite all the arguing. Why oh why can't people just let others live and let live? You're very strong and I admire you very much - stay as you are. Don't let anyone get you down or tell you anything is wrong with your life.

He would be very proud of you - I'm sure he is. *sending lots of love and hugs*

poul e · 31 Jul 2003, 18:38

Dear Agnes

My first thoughts when I read this were "Well done Agnes!". You didn't give in to the ideas/pressure from other people. Like Kaz says you are very strong. You need that strength now and in the future, not the least for the sake of your children. I understand how you feel right now...sad and tired, but still relieved in some way that the funeral is now over...

*love and hugs from Denmark to a very nice and strong girl in Hungary*

Clare · 31 Jul 2003, 18:54

I can only agree with what the others have said. I know his family are in pain too, but how dare they talk to you like that?!

*hugs and admiration for your strength*

Clare

wii · 31 Jul 2003, 19:03

I´ve experienced through life, that you find out how people really are, in stressed or sad situations, just like the one Agi is going through - it´s sad, but I believe it´s true.

Quote:

quote:Originally posted by Clare
but how dare they talk to you like that?!

Agnes · 31 Jul 2003, 21:27

@ all:

[love2][love2][love2][love2][love2][love2][love2]

You are so nice to me, and I'm very very happy, proud and honoured to be the member of this commune. I don't know how I could survive these days without your support, your warm heart, your generousity and selflessness.

@ Kaz: I told you someday, I think that it was actually you who gave me an example about how to survive life without loosing your head or getting lunatic. Therefore I can say only thank you to you, for your strength, your sense of humour and your sense about how to treat other human beings - or may I say, earthlings.

@ Clare: I really don't know... I actually said to my brother-in-law "I don't think it is the best moment to discuss such questions..." but as you can imagine, this sentence of mine found deaf ears...

@ Poul E: *hugs back and sends a big smile to Denmark to a nice and warm-hearted gentleman*

[smile2]

@wii: Yes, it is goddamn true. My husband used to say it, too, that you can especially got to know people in extreme situations. Now I could get to know them really... BAH!!! [dead]

leenix · 01 Aug 2003, 07:46

How can anyone object against a saree? It's like the prettiest garment ever! They must be so narrow minded and also quite insensitive to even start a discussion like that at a funeral. I - just as everyone else here - admire your strength so much.

Agnes · 01 Aug 2003, 20:31

@ leenix:

Thank you...

And after this he just dared to come to our flat as if nothing would have happened and he said to me: "I know that we will have fights in the future, but just feel free to come to us any time!..." Ain't he generous??...

Kaz · 01 Aug 2003, 20:42

@ Agnes

You're too kind to me with your words *blush*

I'm always here if you need to chat or even just have a go at anything - just call

29 Jul 2003, 21:02	#71
Agnes Dreamer Join Date: 23 Jan 2002 Location: Dunakeszi, , Hungary. Posts: 2,225	No, my dear Clare, I won't forget myself, I am the one who has to complete all these things I mentioned above. Just because I must find a meaning for my life... And you all are very very important to me. (This is one of my reasons why I must survive these days...) * Say GOURANGA, and be happy! *

31 Jul 2003, 17:29	#72
Agnes Dreamer Join Date: 23 Jan 2002 Location: Dunakeszi, , Hungary. Posts: 2,225	Today we buried him... And of course it didn't work out without figthings... And of course the topic was religion - again. The reason? I appeared in saree (the traditional custom of Hindu women) and my brother-in-law stared at me and just sat on me saying "How do you dare to come to the cemetary in such a dress??..." Words came after words, I really don't want to go into details, but we had a big and very disgusting fight. [censored] And when I got to my mother-in-law asking her to allay him, she said "Oh, oh... you can't imagine what the village say if they see you wearing such a dress... and you can't imagine what my colleagues say if they see you wearing such a dress... but oh, I have already resigned myself to everything..." I just couldn't believe my ears... [nonono] But thank God they didn't continue it in the cemetary... The ceremony went well, there was no mistake... The ceremony itself wasn't a religious one (due to his will, as he was atheist), there had been some speeches by a registrar and by his boss - then I read the poem "Adonais" by Percy Bysshe Shelley (it was his will, too). Momentary I feel goddamn tired, but somehow relieved as well. I didn't cry at the funeral (just at the end a little bit) - somehow I heard his voice echoing in my ears for the whole time: "You do it well, girl... don't care about what they say." And if he says so - then it is true. May his body rest in peace - may his sould find the way to the Godhead. * Say GOURANGA, and be happy! *

31 Jul 2003, 18:04	#73
Kaz Her... Join Date: 22 Jan 2003 Location: Bucharest, Romania Posts: 12,459	Dearest Agnes I've been thinking of you and the kids all day today and I'm so proud of you for standing up for your beliefs. It sounds like he had a good send-off, despite all the arguing. Why oh why can't people just let others live and let live? You're very strong and I admire you very much - stay as you are. Don't let anyone get you down or tell you anything is wrong with your life. He would be very proud of you - I'm sure he is. sending lots of love and hugs Before you judge me, make sure you're perfect.

31 Jul 2003, 18:54	#75
Clare Alphanut Join Date: 31 Mar 2001 Location: By a river, near Fort William in view of Ben Nevis Posts: 9,969	I can only agree with what the others have said. I know his family are in pain too, but how dare they talk to you like that?! hugs and admiration for your strength Clare "I've had many sobering thoughts in my life.... ....it was them what drove me to drink!" [drunk] Grandad, Only Fools and Horses (UK sitcom)

31 Jul 2003, 21:27	#77
Agnes Dreamer Join Date: 23 Jan 2002 Location: Dunakeszi, , Hungary. Posts: 2,225	@ all: [love2][love2][love2][love2][love2][love2][love2] You are so nice to me, and I'm very very happy, proud and honoured to be the member of this commune. I don't know how I could survive these days without your support, your warm heart, your generousity and selflessness. @ Kaz: I told you someday, I think that it was actually you who gave me an example about how to survive life without loosing your head or getting lunatic. Therefore I can say only thank you to you, for your strength, your sense of humour and your sense about how to treat other human beings - or may I say, earthlings. @ Clare: I really don't know... I actually said to my brother-in-law "I don't think it is the best moment to discuss such questions..." but as you can imagine, this sentence of mine found deaf ears... @ Poul E: hugs back and sends a big smile to Denmark to a nice and warm-hearted gentleman [smile2] @wii: Yes, it is goddamn true. My husband used to say it, too, that you can especially got to know people in extreme situations. Now I could get to know them really... BAH!!! [dead] * Say GOURANGA, and be happy! *

31 Jul 2003, 18:38	#74
poul e Dream Keeper Join Date: 08 Nov 2000 Location: Thisted, Denmark Posts: 7,069	Dear Agnes My first thoughts when I read this were "Well done Agnes!". You didn't give in to the ideas/pressure from other people. Like Kaz says you are very strong. You need that strength now and in the future, not the least for the sake of your children. I understand how you feel right now...sad and tired, but still relieved in some way that the funeral is now over... love and hugs from Denmark to a very nice and strong girl in Hungary

01 Aug 2003, 07:46	#78
leenix Dreamer Join Date: 09 Oct 2001 Location: Göteborg, , Sweden. Posts: 135	How can anyone object against a saree? It's like the prettiest garment ever! They must be so narrow minded and also quite insensitive to even start a discussion like that at a funeral. I - just as everyone else here - admire your strength so much. ...---... life will kill you in the end ...---...

01 Aug 2003, 20:31	#79
Agnes Dreamer Join Date: 23 Jan 2002 Location: Dunakeszi, , Hungary. Posts: 2,225	@ leenix: Thank you... And after this he just dared to come to our flat as if nothing would have happened and he said to me: "I know that we will have fights in the future, but just feel free to come to us any time!..." Ain't he generous??... * Say GOURANGA, and be happy! *

01 Aug 2003, 20:42	#80
Kaz Her... Join Date: 22 Jan 2003 Location: Bucharest, Romania Posts: 12,459	@ Agnes You're too kind to me with your words blush I'm always here if you need to chat or even just have a go at anything - just call Before you judge me, make sure you're perfect.